Me
Is it me, or is it every time you think you are making positive strides, someone knocks you off your pedestal into increasing levels of self loathing. This seems to be a never ending cycle, rich or poor, male or female. At some point or another, a harbinger of doom will arrive to help you realize your deficiencies. So, despite my belief to the contrary, it turns out my juvenile behavior in China will be affixed to my forehead for life. If, for whatever reason, the wound does not follow me forever, at the very least, it will have a healthy, albeit minuscule, existence on the grounds of my graduate school. For those not already in the know here is my version of events. As you will see, I'm not looking excuse myself of any wrongdoing. I simply want to right whatever rumors are out there so they can finally be corrected. Here it goes.

6:00 I awake earlier than usual (roughly an hour) in order to have extra time to study for an Accounting test at Peking University.
- For those who don't know, Peking University is the Harvard equivalent of China. One big difference, the Chinese military looks after the grounds, not a bunch of overweight, contracted security guards as is the case with Harvard.

6:35 Finished getting ready and out of the FX Hotel to get breakfast at McD's.
- An unfortunate morning ritual I had in Beijing, but better than stinky tofu.

7:00 After a twenty-five minute walk, I arrive to the building where my classroom is located.
- Up to this point everything has been running smoothly, giving me a solid hour to study for my Accounting test that had been giving me night sweats all week.

7:01 To my befuddlement, the door to the classroom is locked despite the affirmation by our liaison that it wouldn't be.

7:02 I roam the building looking for an adequate place to study until the room is unlocked.
- With no chairs anywhere in the building and horrible lighting, I determine the best course of action is to pantomime to the security guard that the door is locked and see if he can help unlock it.

7:03 I begin miming "unlock the door" to the disgruntled security guard.
- Since the two of us didn't share a common language, and my miming skills had been honed from other experiences in China, I felt this would work.

7:04 He understands what I need and motions something to the effect of: "Sorry bud, nothing I can do to help you, go wait by the door."
- At this time a fellow student comes cruising in the door and I proceed to apprise him of the situation.

7:05 The student and I look around the facility for others to speak with, but being so early, no one else is available to help.

7:10 We elect to sit on the floor near the classroom in a vain attempt to study for the exam.
- Turns out he believed 7:15 was the designated time the classroom would be opened to students.

7:15 I'm getting increasingly upset since I haven't been able to study at all. 

- I realize at this point I would have been better off sleeping the extra hour and feeling fresh for the exam. My head has now become bombarded with negative thoughts and little has been accomplished to prepare me for the exam.        

7:20 Ten minutes have gone by with the two of us studying on the floor and all I can think about is how uncomfortable everything is.
- My back hurts, its difficult to take notes, can't really see what I'm reading, why hasn't the door been opened yet, etc, etc.

7:21 I spot a different security guard, mime the situation to him and he refuses to help.
- Now my confusion and frustration levels rise higher. These guys clearly understand what is needed despite the language barrier but won't help. Why can't the security guards unlock anything? Shouldn't they have keys to the facility that they are responsible for looking after? What is going on here I repeatedly ask myself?

7:22 I look over at my things strewn about the floor. There is still forty more minutes until the test starts and all I want is to get inside the freakin' classroom.

7:23 I seek out the first security guard for a second go round.
- I mean, he should have a key right, he is the security guard for crying out loud.

7:24 He belligerently responds with something to the effect of: "Go fuck yourself, I'm not here to help you."
- This is when things get a little nutty.

7:25 I am walking away from the security guard on my way back to where my books are located when, out of the corner of my eye, I notice a glass protected fire hose.
- I walked by the glass, slightly hitting it with my fist (using about the same force as the Obama's when they fist bump each other).

7:25 (Continued) To my amazement, the glass shatters everywhere.
- This is where greater clarification is needed regarding my state of mind at the time. First off, there was zero premeditation or intent to break anything. This was not a case of me trying with all my might to wreak havoc. Instead, I merely wanted to channel my frustration, hastily smacking the glass to accomplish this goal, not gently but also not violently. A quick jab with very little force is all it took to exacerbate the situation. Not knowing what to do, I began to walk in the direction of my things, masquerading my feelings as if the whole thing had been planned in advance.

7:26 I sit down next to my stuff, blood streaming down my arm, the security guard yelling at me.
- Funny how now he takes an avid interest in me.

7:27 Two other guards have joined the original barking at me. I elect to ignore them and look at my textbook, only 30 minutes until test time.
- This was not the correct course of action to take but at the time I felt it would be fitting to treat them as they had previously treated me, with contempt.

7:30 The guards leave me alone and begin to chat amongst themselves.

7:30 (Continued) A few more students begin rolling in at this point. They notice the glass but no one has put two-and-two together.
- Eventually, people see my bloodied shirt (an improvised bandage since nothing could be found in the restrooms, not even toilet paper) and people start asking questions.

7:40 After explaining everything to my fellow students and retelling the course of events, the question then reverts back to the original issue: "Why hasn't the room been opened yet?"
- For the record, students who came after 7:30 assumed the room would be open by their arrival.

7:45 Finally, a woman with lots of keys enters the picture and unlocks the door for us.
- Late by everyone's account.

7:50 Settled into my chair and doing one more gloss over for the exam.
- Unfortunately, my planned morning of study had become usurped by stupid controversy.

8:00 Test starts, bloody t-shirt and all.
- Wish I could say I pulled it together and did well, but then I would be lying.

For most people this isn't that crazy or dramatic, barely even worth retelling. At least that's what I would expect. I hear of crazier things from friends all the time. Why is it that this story follows me around more than any? The only thing I can assume is that Eastern Asians, namely Chinese, and Westerners have different barometers for what is acceptable and unacceptable. To those that I offended, it must be weird to see someone express their emotions publicly. Either way, I'm tired of people trying to pigeon hole me as barbaric when this type of behavior is so out of character. Its not like I go around punching everything in sight. In fact, I have only done something remotely like this in two locales. Boarding School and Beijing. Of course this story's long running popularity may have something to do with my other punching incident in Beijing.

That story next time!

The Avengers
Figured everyone else has given their two cents on this juggernaut of a film so why not me. Like everyone else has said, it takes some time before this band of misfits finally unite, but it is pure bliss once it happens. My hat goes off to the director, Josh Whedon, who really makes the whole thing work. Check out one of his early film jewels, Serenity, a tragically under viewed space saga from 2005.

Now, for some Logan thoughts...

1) Scarlett's Black Widow scenes are a disgrace compared to the rest of the cast.
Exhibit A: Her first fight scene utilizes a body double rather miserably.

- This better have been done by the 2nd unit directing team, such blatant failings almost made me realize that I was watching a movie and not living in a dream world.

2) Scarlett's other major fight scene with Hawkeye on the flying aircraft carrier, or Helicarrier to the uninitiated, felt too choreographed.
Exhibit B: I swear I saw her lips moving as she dutifully counted out the steps she was supposed to perform. Looks like someone spent too much time taking naked photos of themselves and not training for the film.

- Essentially, there are two types of great fight scenes, those that are overly choreographed and include lots of flare and set pieces, think Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon or the Matrix movies. The opposite, but equally effective, look improvised and don't feel as if they've been staged for months (even though they have), think Warrior or the Bourne movies.

3) Who's that girl hanging around with Sam Jackson (Nick Fury) all the time. As far as I know she is not once named throughout the course of the movie. Something is up.
Exhibit C: She is quite hot and looks way better at this than the miscast female lead in the film.

- I've done my research and I'm assuming that the blogosphere is up to speed with all this. It appears that this lithely thing will be making a more prominent splash in the upcoming AntMan release where her backstory will be further drawn out. The assumption: she is Avengers hero Wasp.

See you next time!